How To Handle Guilt When Moving A Parent Into Skilled Nursing

Coping with an aging parent’s needs is challenging. There may come a time when your parents cannot live safely on their own. If you’re unable to provide care, you may consider putting your parents in a skilled nursing facility or care home.

Although it may be necessary and beneficial, many adult children feel guilty over moving their parents to a senior living facility. Let’s look at the reasons for feelings of guilt and how you can cope with your guilt as you help your aging parents during their transition.

Why Do Caregivers Often Feel Guilty About Moving A Parent Into Skilled Nursing?

Caregivers may feel guilty about putting a parent in a care home due to the following:

• Their parents feel abandoned: Parents may feel that they’ll be forgotten once they’re in care.
• They can’t provide care themselves: In the U.S., 25% of adults provide care to someone else. 94% of these caregivers look after other adults, such as their spouse or parents. Many are still caring for children as well, and many work full-time. Although they may want to help, many adult children can’t care for aging parents.
• They tried to provide care, and someone got hurt: Adult children may try to look after their parents, despite other demands on their time, such as work. If they try to provide care and their parents are injured, they may blame themselves for making their parents move. 
• They’re breaking a promise: Many aging parents ask their adult children not to put them in care homes, which can make them feel guilty for not keeping their promise.
• They’re defying their parents’ wishes: If your parents have stated they do not want to live in a care home, you’ll know they disapprove when you move them to a skilled nursing or assisted living facility.

How Can Families Recognize When Skilled Nursing Is The Safest Option?

Signs it’s time to move a parent to skilled nursing include your parent having:

• Cognitive decline
• Difficulty with balance and mobility
• Frequent injuries
• Medication mix-ups
• Unexplained weight loss

Burnout symptoms also affect over 60% of caregivers, making caregiver burnout another reason to move aging parents to skilled nursing.

Why Choosing Skilled Nursing Isn’t “Giving Up” On A Loved One

Choosing skilled nursing isn’t giving up on your loved ones because skilled nursing care can improve your parents’ health and their quality of life.

Skilled nursing facilities look after your parents’ physical, social, and emotional needs. Skilled nursing facilities have licensed doctors, registered nurses, and licensed physical and occupational therapists on site, ensuring each person receives quality medical care.

In addition to providing personalized treatment for injuries and illnesses, they provide activities and opportunities for social engagement, which helps prevent depression and feelings of isolation.

Skilled nursing facilities also encourage family participation.

What Can Families Do To Stay Actively Involved After The Transition?

Family members can attend team meetings and provide input to ensure their parents’ treatment plans meet their needs. They can also learn from the team’s medical professionals on how to support their parents.

Additionally, family members can visit, participate in activities, and interact with their parents and other residents. This is an excellent way to meet their parents’ new friends and familiarize themselves with their parents’ environment and routine.

How Can Caregivers Cope With Feelings Of Grief, Guilt, Or Uncertainty?

Talking to a counselor can help when you struggle with feelings of guilt, grief, or uncertainty. You can also visit your parents in their care facility. Seeing the homey environment your parents live in, the activities and on-site social opportunities they enjoy, and the expert care they receive can reassure you about your decision.

How Can Open Communication With A Parent Ease The Transition?

Open communication prevents feelings of resentment from creating a rift. In addition to being honest about your needs and concerns, listening to your parents and finding ways to address their concerns can help with the transition.

For example, they may not want to move because they love attending their home church. You can ease the transition by taking them to their church each week.

What Should Families Expect During The First Few Weeks Of Skilled Nursing Care?

The first few weeks are a period of transition. During this time, you may have many forms to complete, and there will be meetings to assess your parents’ needs and develop treatment plans.

Your parents may feel stressed and disappointed as they adjust to a new routine and environment. You can ease their transition period by visiting regularly, communicating openly, and giving them time to adjust.

How Can Choosing The Right Skilled Nursing Provider Provide Peace Of Mind?

When you choose the right skilled nursing care, you’ll enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing that:

• Licensed medical professionals are managing their medications.
• Skilled nursing staff will notify you of any concerns.
• You can be involved in your parents’ care.
• Your parents are getting the nutrients they need from delicious food.
• Your parents can participate in on-site activities.
• Your parents have social opportunities.

How Can Monument Health Support Both Patients And Their Families Throughout The Transition?

At Monument Health, we understand the challenges of transitioning to skilled nursing care. Our expert skilled nursing providers provide the crucial medical care your parents need to recover from injuries, manage illnesses, and improve their quality of life.

Our team is also available to answer questions and keep you informed, so you can be confident you made the right choice for your parents’ care.